5. Terms and Conditions
And so – after hearing about the licensing of The HanuHanu Gita – you probably won´t be surprised to hear that this website has no Terms and Conditions!
However: by virtue of the same values that place little value on Terms and Conditions – I promise you that, in any interaction you have with us, you can expect a degree of integrity and kindness to which ´the consumer of products and services´ might not be accustomed!
That said, I did imagine myself bringing the issue of Terms and Conditions to Blind Cupid. (And by the way, there´s a portrait of Blind Cupid in the very first chapter of The HanuHanu Gita.)
And the story goes like this…
“I doze off while studying Templates of Terms and Conditions – and, of course, my dreams are a nightmare! “We can make a legally enforceable agreement without further reference to you!” shouts a stuttering voice, like a machine gun.”You MUST read these terms and conditions” another voice fires back. All around me great, threatening Mechanical Law Monsters are attacking each other with clauses and subclauses…
“Hello, Mark. Are you OK?” enquires a sweet, soft voice. Yes – Blind Cupid has slipped into my dream! It takes my tiny human hand in his/her/its own, and together, we walk in peace among the warring Mechanical Law Monsters. “By ordering any of our goods you AGREE to be BOUND by these terms and conditions” yells one monster, swashbucklingly, at another – igniting the wick of a medieval canon. “By ordering any of our services, YOU agree to be bound by THESE terms and conditions” retorts another – releasing an altogether more modern swarm of tiny target locked missile drones.
Then, as happens in dreams, we are suddenly in a forest. The Mechanical Law Monsters are no more, and I sense there are other Giant Orange Monkeys in the undergrowth. Is this the HanuHanu Tribe Estate? Blind Cupid lifts me up, and sits me on a branch, so that we can look into each other´s eyes without both getting cramps in our necks…
As I look into Blind Cupid´s white eyes I feel the universe smiling, admiringly, at me. And my eyes smile back. “Mark” Blind Cupid whispers, “Terms and Conditions are not our way.” “The language is so violent” I whisper back, as if afraid to wake. “And heartless!” I add, “and complicated!” “The heart is so simple!” Blind Cupid says, and asks “does a true lover say “before you kiss me – please read the Terms and Conditions written upon my lips”? Of course not! That´s only for fake lovers who have plans for each other!”
Still, somehow, somewhere in the distance, the Mechanical Law Monsters are still ranting… “You MUST specify your returns policy” they´re insisting. “OK” I say, and I make a concession… “Here” I say, lacking patience – and on a random piece of paper I scribble “if anyone buys the HanuHanu Gita, and has a change of heart, I promise to give them their money back”.
“Yes, yes” the Mechanical Law Monsters mumble on, unappreciatively “but it must be returned undamaged.” “Oh, Shut Up!” I say, with no more patience at all. I am fed up with their unappeasable fear. “But, but, but – HanuHanu.org is subject to the jurisdiction of which nation´s legal system?” they now grumble on – regardless, relentless. “HanuHanu.org does not operate under the law of any country” my dream-pen writes, boldly now, “the heart knows no laws – it follows a knowing that illumines with the years, as it ages with humility and grace – and it makes mistakes, as do YOU!”
And at this point I put my pen down – and I put my foot down. “Warring Mechanical Law Monsters” I say firmly, kindly “you cannot protect yourselves from the infinite possible hostilities of the universe – so chill!” And, to be fair to them, since then, they have been quiet – as if, secretly, they´d not really wanted to live at mind-war… as if, secretly, they´d always longed to let go of their Universal Rights and Wrongs; as if, secretly, they´d always wanted to put down their canons, and missile drones, and bullets of words – and become trustworthy, and therefore capable of trust.”
