1. Negotiations With The Author

I

Hi! My name is Valery Mickey – known to-the-world as ´Auntie Val´ – suddenly the Founder of Auntie Val Publishing, and the Publisher of the HanuHanu Gita. I say ´suddenly´ because I am sixty-four-now – and for sixty-three years, I didn´t do any-of-this…

I was The Head Dinner Lady at the clifftop OmEgo Hardcore Cafeteria; the cafeteria of-one-of the World´s Largest Hardcore Meditation Hotels – for over forty years! I ran a tight kitchen – but a happy one. I ruled with Hugs and Reggae! I was everyone´s ´Auntie Val´.

Then, in-the-summer of 2020 – yes, just last-summer: My Reality was Disassembled! And not-by The Virus Affair…

The Virus Affair was generating – how could-it-not? – the Full Spectrum of Responses – from Horror to Surrender… I don´t know how that-time-was For You, but in Lockdown at the OmEgo Hardcore Meditation Hotel, spirits were High. There was an excitement in the corridors – as-if The Virus Affair was lifting-up the bonnet of The Great Car of Human Civilisation; exposing the appalling State of the Engine – the way Dorothy had unveiled the Wizard of Oz – somehow unbinding whatever-was-still spellbound within-us. It felt-like The Summer of Remembrance, at the OmEgo Hotel – of “oops, yes, I´d suspected, but now I see!” It felt-like the Summer of Return to our Sovereignty! We felt released; and united; and empowered! It felt like Opportunity. It felt like a Gift.

At mealtimes – the cafeteria windows and doors open to the sunshine – there was a thrill in the air. We all-now-saw the Ugliness beneath the filmstars and flags and fancy cars in Higher Definition Than Ever. And we were pleased we had Chosen Beauty! It felt like the sidewalks and pavements of the world were cracking – an era ending, perhaps – who knew? – and that we, the Staff and Meditators at the OmEgo Hardcore Meditation Hotel, and Everyone Else who´d seen-what-we´d-seen – were the wild seed that, co-incidentally, was seeking cracks to grow in…

It was within-this-setting, of an already-elated OmEgo Hotel, that I had My Disassemblage – and my Reassemblage!

In June 2020, at the time of the Strawberry Full Moon – Blind Cupid came to my bedroom. To put-it succinctly: in terms of Terror, and in terms of Transformation: of All the Meetings I have ever-had, ever, anywhere, with anyone; or any situation, or anything: My Meeting with Blind Cupid outdid them all – effortlessly! I have never-known Such Terror nor Transformation…

I remember that bedroom at the OmEgo Hotel with Awe. I always loved it! It was huge – and overlooked Port Nearby, with its Sailing Boats and Fairy Lights. But I remember it, now, with Reverence: as the Sacred Place where Blind Cupid Appeared to Me – The HanuHanu Gita tucked-away, on an external hard-drive, in a sidepocket on Its quiver…

II

It is five-in-the-morning. I wake. Where Am I? I am in my bed, in my huge bedroom, at the Retreat Hotel, at the seaside. I hear a voice. Who´s that? A gentle voice… “Hello”, It says, tentatively. I open my eyes – and scream! As I scream I Shut my Eyes – so I open-them: to check. And yes! It´s still there! I scream again! I close my eyes, I open-my-eyes, I look, I scream. I look-again, I scream-again. And so-on. This goes on for, perhaps, an hour.

“Hello”, It says, tentatively, again – as my breathing slows from terror, to panic – to the relief of this being nothing-more than: the Disintegration of My Mind!
“What ARE you?” I blurt
“I am Blind Cupid” It says, “I am A God of Erotic Love. Yet I am also a Giant Orange Monkey, and the Scribe of the HanuHanu Tribe Annals”.
“Oh!” I say, very very quietly. Then scream again. And again. And Still It Was There!

This Apparition Called Blind Cupid glowed orange. Its bow and quiver and arrows glowed a faint-green. Its Tiny Wings shimmered and sparkled. It hovered, cross-legged, at bed-height – between my bed and the Huge Windows that Overlooked the Port. And it was a Monkey! A Huge Floating Glowing Monkey! And I mean ´huge´ – even cross-legged, it had to bend-its-neck forwards to be able to levitate-like-that, and still-fit beneath the ceiling! And it was smiling! Affectionately! It was smiling so-sweetly, like a Teletubbie! And It´s Eyes! Its Eyes were White and Inwards…

Look – I know you don´t know me, but let me be clear: I am not a drug-taker, nor of unstable mental health. I have maintained a High Profile in the world of Corporate Cuisine – lecturing on Deserts and Table Manners, for decades. I have written a weekly Agony Aunt Column in a National Newspaper. I have raised six children; been-through two tooth-and-nail divorces – and all-the-while, been Head Coach to a National Women´s Skiing Team. I am not an embellisher! I don´t make stuff up! I tell it straight! This is what happened to me. And it´s the beginning of how I came to publish The HanuHanu Gita…

III

“I am A God of Erotic Love” It repeated, “I am A God of Erotic Love!” And this-time: I FELT Its Words! My Whole Body buzzed and twitched; and hummed and fluttered; and tickled-all-over with the subtlest of sweet-pleasures – until it relaxed… Well: I can´t remember being so-relaxed since I was a child!

And so my questioning took-another-tone – gradually shifting from “What The Fuck?!”; towards a conversation so-intimate, it can only Take Place between Those In Love.

“Where are you?” I asked Blind Cupid, “I mean – are you HERE on Earth? Are you Between Dimensions? Or is there…” Then I found my Real Question. “Blind Cupid” I asked From my Heart, “are you Really Here?”

“Valery” It said softly, “Where is Anything – Ultimately? But yes – I am here, feel-for-yourself…” And a Huge Glowing Orange Monkey Hand reached across the bed, towards-me; picked-up a finger-of-mine with utmost delicacy; and prodded a fingernail-of-mine into Its Arm… And, yes – I could feel It! It was a bit-spongey, I thought. But, It was Tangible, for sure…

I felt Its Arm, then Its Knee – and as the Dawn Sun brightened the Night into Day; Blind Cupid and I embraced, and kissed – and Made Love. Although don´t-ask-me how that´s possible – because, after we kissed, neither-of-us moved-an-inch! But I have no-doubt-about-it: It was Inside Me; and I Inside It!

IV

Immediately-after this Explosive Encounter, I was so Dizzy – I didn´t know if the Room was spinning, or if I was! Then, after a-few days-and-nights Under the Duvet; one night – I crept-out, Into the Strawberry Moonlit Clifftop Gardens. Everything was SO Beautiful! I felt so Happy!

And-if I had Made Love without Moving, with the Roman God of Erotic Love, who, as it-so-happened, turned out-to-be, a Glowing Levitating Blind Giant Orange Monkey with Wings – which I had – then What Was All-of-This REALLY? This Reality could be Anything! My conceptual frameworks weren´t conceptualising at-all-well. I skipped-about like Alice in OmEgoland – Conceptless and Free – along the rose-tinted paths, and across the blushing lawns, of the Clifftop Gardens, of the OmEgo Hardcore Meditation Hotel.

V

Since then, Blind Cupid has visited me many-times – as-energy… As-well-as living Its fleshy-life as the HanuHanu Giant Orange Monkey Tribe Scribe, Blind Cupid also flies as-energy, though Human Dreams – “following the scent of True Love¨ as It puts-it… And since those days of Lockdown and Release, and those nights Dancing with the Pink Trees beneath the Strawberry Moon – Blind Cupid has returned -to-me, many-times – as-energy… Flirting with Me in my half-sleep – kissing-me-quick, upon my brow; or upon a cheek – or upon a rainbow… Mostly, we sit Together in Love, and touch; and meditate and chat; and sometimes sing, or do Yoga, or levitate.

Darlings – I am In Love! I Am! Not with Blind Cupid, though. I Love Blind Cupid – of course I do! And Blind Cupid Loves Me! But Blind Cupid is not The Love I am In! You might say I´m In Love, together with Blind Cupid! And Blind Cupid: thank you, thank you, thank you…

Blind Cupid Appeared to Me, like a Sacred Ayahuascan Hallucination – that unimaginable morning, in my beloved bedroom at the OmEgo Hardcore Meditation Hotel – and Shocked Me, and Relaxed Me, and Introduced me to Love.

VI

By the Grace of My Encounter with Blind Cupid I feel my Dry and Defined Reality has been replaced, by a Wet and Wonderful One! So it was a quick and predictable “Yes!”, when Blind Cupid pulled his hard-drive from his quiver – and asked me to publish The HanuHanu Gita. In fact, I have resigned as Head Dinner Lady at the OmEgo Hardcore Cafeteria (after all-those-years!), and am-now devoting-my-time, full-time, to the diffusion of The HanuHanu Gita.

In fact, I have bought-myself a second-hand Spaceship; where I now live, Circling the Earth at a-fair-height, just beyond the Earth´s Exosphere – and work-from-home, as a Liaison Officer for Human to Giant Orange Monkey Literary Queries.

My Darlings – We Are One!
Enjoy the book!
I love You All!

Captain among Captains,
Auntie Val (Valery Mickey),
for Auntie Val Publishing,
aboard ´The Creativity´.

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